WasteLand: A Source of Amusement Trash

WasteLand goes to SFoT

2009-05-04T20:09:00.009-04:00

Yesterday we took a trip to Six Flags Over Texas for our second visit of this season. North Texas was plagued by severe thunderstorms on Saturday, so we were pretty surprised to find clear skies in the morning. We learned from a trip report at ThemeParkReview.com that the park actually closed early at 7 pm the night before due to these storms.

We arrived at noon, the parking lot close to empty. With the gates open for an hour already, we expected to see at least a light crowd. There were no lines to enter the park nor to process season passes. As enthusiasts, we all get a little excited encountering this sort of situation. But we wonder what kind of economical effect this has on the park, especially since they had to unexpectedly close the night before. Whether it was the rain or swine flu that scared guests away, it was a bad weekend for SFoT.

We started the day with a couple rides on Runaway Mountain, a walk-on with multiple-train operation - quite a difference from my previous visit where we waited an hour with one-train op. We love this ride. Even if it is tiny, its fun. We rode a couple of flats in the Spain section and then headed for Tony Hawk’s Big Spin, last year’s new addition. This ride still runs smoothly and it’s nice that there wasn’t an hour wait. This is the second time we’ve noticed that the on-video booth for this ride was closed. What gives? Next, we hit both mine rides and WasteLand Park finally received our Mini Mine Train credit (after 6 visits in two years!).

It also was our first time riding Superman: Tower of Power. We didn’t realize that this ride incorporates both the downward and upward launch functions of the S&S Space Shot. We were honestly surprised when, after the launch and subsequent bouncing, we were carried to the top of the tower. I really liked the combo action, but assume tower capacity really takes a hit. Every other time we’ve been there the line has been long.

After a few hours it was time to eat lunch. We honestly love not waiting in line, but the downside? Headaches!

For lunch we purchased the Papa John’s Family Meal Deal Combo. With the help of the season pass coupon, the meal costs less than 8 dollars a person (with four people) and it comes with two souvenir pop bottles, including free refills for the rest of the day. We think it’s a great price, despite the fact that the Six Flags version of Papa John’s is pretty bland.

We realized that, though the park was nowhere near busy, employees were staffed as if it were. With all the talk of Six Flags and possible bankruptcy, maybe they should take a look at payroll. In multiple situations we saw more than 4 employees congregating in one area doing absolutely nothing. Even the higher-upswere standing around doing nothing. One of the shirt and tie guys hadn’t moved from where he was standing at Runaway Mountain when I returned to our locker, almost two hours later!

We spent the rest of the day riding each of Gotham City’s coasters, Mr. Freeze and Batman, two times. Because we honestly all had headaches from riding so much, we finished off the day with some leisurely rides on the antique cars, the train, and the Yosemite Sam river ride. Although I wouldn’t have minded a ride of the Texas Giant, the rest of the group declined. We left the park at about 6 pm, an hour shy of park closing.

We enjoy SFoT and we're glad that it has been able to be a temporary home park for the past two seasons.We just hope that Six Flags is able to work their way through this economy because they really do operate some great parks.

Diamondback in 2010

2009-04-30T21:29:00.018-04:00

CF Executive: You know those super-fast and exhilarating fighter jets? The ones everyone would love to experience in roller coaster form? Lets rename Top Gun after the landing turf.

Boss Man: I like it!

FLIGHT DECK. The most offensive rebranding of a roller coaster ever.

WasteLand Park gives Cedar Fair the benefit-of-the-doubt and assumes they're referring to the "cockpit" definition of the word, NOT "the upper area of an aircraft carrier, constructed and equipped for landing and takeoff" (Oh look, were in a jet, and its parked, yippie).

Even still, whats exciting about a cockpit?

Sure, this guys having a great time, but renaming the Top Gun coasters Flight Deck is the equivalent of Cedar Fair switching The Beast to Creature Claw, Son of Beast to Nail of Creatrue Claw and Italian Job: Stunt Track to...oh wait.

This got us thinking: What if Cedar Fair had to rename Diamondback?

WasteLand Park did some detective work (Our cousin's friend works for the brother of a Minnesota welder who's wife has a Sandusky friend that washes Dick Kenzel's dog) and found the company has already anticipated legal action. Sources say (Minnesota welder) the St. Paul, country cover band DiamondBack (google it!) will file a lawsuit within the next month.

Long story short: We found this audio from a potential 2010 Kings Island commercial. The name Diamondback is no more! Instead, the superstar B&M hyper will be re-christened...

A few YouTube responses to Reptile Cage:

Comment: That is total 100% FAKE. ok, where did (you) get this???

WasteLand: No. Its 100% real.

Comment: 100% fake. raptile cage doesnt even rhyme and why would they open a new ride to just rename it a year later? do you not get how expenisve that is? dude seriously quit lying

Where do you start with this one? First, a "raptile" cage would rhyme, no? We decided to fight fire with fire:

Wasteland: Dude...The ride is sunking. They have to rename it, corporate mandate.

CATastrophic Oops!

2009-04-30T18:26:00.016-04:00

ARLINGTON - Amusement Today, a well known amusement industry publication, has released a statement detailing a mix-up with their prestigious Golden Ticket Awards, specifically the Best Steel Roller Coaster category. The Texas-based publication has announced that Superman: Ride of Steel, at Six Flags New England in Agawam, Massachusetts, is NOT the world's best steel roller coaster.

"Due to the ride's close proximity to Catwoman's Whip, we made the mistake of declaring Superman: Ride of Steel the best steel coaster," said Pam Sherborne, editor of the publication. "We actually enjoy the Zierer family coaster a tad more."

"What the f#@% do we know about comic books?" continued Sherborne. "Look, obviously we're very sorry for the small mistake and apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused."

Coaster enthusiasts across the country are confused and annoyed by the award recall, some developing their own conspiracy theories. "Vagina-starved fan-boys, that's all," said an anonymous CoasterBuzz.com premium member. "They probably like the statue."

When asked how the mistake may have affected park goers, Larry Litton, Six Flags New England's President said "Obviously our park guests will be disappointed to hear the news. Many people probably skipped Catwoman's Whip, and instead, rode Superman. They probably feel cheated."

The news comes at a bad time for the park. Superman: Ride of Steel received a major transformation during the park's off season. Millions of dollars later, the coaster is now known as Bizarro and promises to deliver a completely different ride experience.

"We just wish we would have known before we decided to transform Superman," said Litton. "We wanted to give some TLC to the world's best steel coaster. Now the only thing the real number one coaster gets is a couple new bushes and some mulch. We just really wish we had a time machine."

BIZARRO UPDATE

2009-04-29T19:15:00.009-04:00

It seems the makeovers of Superman: Ride of Steel and Medusa at Six Flags New England and Six Flags Great Adventure, both renamed Bizzaro, have been getting all the love.

What about Six Flags Mexico's Superman: El Ultimo Escape? Why's this makeover dodging the radar? The good people at SFM have sent us an update. Thanks guys!

MEXICO - Its a bird! Its a pig! No, its Superman: el Ultimo Swine! Fly with the Man of Steel as he struggles to cure a pandemic. Level 5? This sickening coaster will top that! Climb over 200 feet at speeds of 75 mph aboard the newly-designed trains, with custom built surgical masks! The Man of Tomorrow soars through twists, turns and mist-filled tunnels (ahCHOO!). Will he find a vaccine? Superman: el Ultimo Swine. New for 2009 at Six Flags Mexico!

Sounds like a winner! If anyone is heading to Mexico anytime soon I'd love to post your trip report!

INAUGURAL POST

2009-04-29T09:23:00.006-04:00

The QUESTION: What is Waste Land Park?

The ANSWER: A source of Amusement Trash

QUESTION 2: What does that even mean?

ANSWER 2: We're not entirely sure.

We can tell you to expect frequent amusement industry news, commentary and, well, trash. If your other news sources are Disney and Six Flags, we're Uncle Freddy's Fun World or Waste Land Park. Which means you come here to ride Zipper.

And there's nothing wrong with that. Zipper is sweet, or is meant to be, like this site. Check back soon!