Diamondback in 2010

CF Executive: You know those super-fast and exhilarating fighter jets? The ones everyone would love to experience in roller coaster form? Lets rename Top Gun after the landing turf.

Boss Man: I like it!

FLIGHT DECK. The most offensive rebranding of a roller coaster ever.

WasteLand Park gives Cedar Fair the benefit-of-the-doubt and assumes they're referring to the "cockpit" definition of the word, NOT "the upper area of an aircraft carrier, constructed and equipped for landing and takeoff" (Oh look, were in a jet, and its parked, yippie).

Even still, whats exciting about a cockpit?

Sure, this guys having a great time, but renaming the Top Gun coasters Flight Deck is the equivalent of Cedar Fair switching The Beast to Creature Claw, Son of Beast to Nail of Creatrue Claw and Italian Job: Stunt Track to...oh wait.

This got us thinking: What if Cedar Fair had to rename Diamondback?

WasteLand Park did some detective work (Our cousin's friend works for the brother of a Minnesota welder who's wife has a Sandusky friend that washes Dick Kenzel's dog) and found the company has already anticipated legal action. Sources say (Minnesota welder) the St. Paul, country cover band DiamondBack (google it!) will file a lawsuit within the next month.

Long story short: We found this audio from a potential 2010 Kings Island commercial. The name Diamondback is no more! Instead, the superstar B&M hyper will be re-christened...

A few YouTube responses to Reptile Cage:

Comment: That is total 100% FAKE. ok, where did (you) get this???

WasteLand: No. Its 100% real.

Comment: 100% fake. raptile cage doesnt even rhyme and why would they open a new ride to just rename it a year later? do you not get how expenisve that is? dude seriously quit lying

Where do you start with this one? First, a "raptile" cage would rhyme, no? We decided to fight fire with fire:

Wasteland: Dude...The ride is sunking. They have to rename it, corporate mandate.

CATastrophic Oops!

ARLINGTON - Amusement Today, a well known amusement industry publication, has released a statement detailing a mix-up with their prestigious Golden Ticket Awards, specifically the Best Steel Roller Coaster category. The Texas-based publication has announced that Superman: Ride of Steel, at Six Flags New England in Agawam, Massachusetts, is NOT the world's best steel roller coaster.


"Due to the ride's close proximity to Catwoman's Whip, we made the mistake of declaring Superman: Ride of Steel the best steel coaster," said Pam Sherborne, editor of the publication. "We actually enjoy the Zierer family coaster a tad more."


"What the f#@% do we know about comic books?" continued Sherborne. "Look, obviously we're very sorry for the small mistake and apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused."

Coaster enthusiasts across the country are confused and annoyed by the award recall, some developing their own conspiracy theories. "Vagina-starved fan-boys, that's all," said an anonymous CoasterBuzz.com premium member. "They probably like the statue."


When asked how the mistake may have affected park goers, Larry Litton, Six Flags New England's President said "Obviously our park guests will be disappointed to hear the news. Many people probably skipped Catwoman's Whip, and instead, rode Superman. They probably feel cheated."

The news comes at a bad time for the park. Superman: Ride of Steel received a major transformation during the park's off season. Millions of dollars later, the coaster is now known as Bizarro and promises to deliver a completely different ride experience.

"We just wish we would have known before we decided to transform Superman," said Litton. "We wanted to give some TLC to the world's best steel coaster. Now the only thing the real number one coaster gets is a couple new bushes and some mulch. We just really wish we had a time machine."

BIZARRO UPDATE

It seems the makeovers of Superman: Ride of Steel and Medusa at Six Flags New England and Six Flags Great Adventure, both renamed Bizzaro, have been getting all the love.

What about Six Flags Mexico's Superman: El Ultimo Escape? Why's this makeover dodging the radar? The good people at SFM have sent us an update. Thanks guys!


MEXICO - Its a bird! Its a pig! No, its Superman: el Ultimo Swine! Fly with the Man of Steel as he struggles to cure a pandemic. Level 5? This sickening coaster will top that! Climb over 200 feet at speeds of 75 mph aboard the newly-designed trains, with custom built surgical masks! The Man of Tomorrow soars through twists, turns and mist-filled tunnels (ahCHOO!). Will he find a vaccine? Superman: el Ultimo Swine. New for 2009 at Six Flags Mexico!

Sounds like a winner! If anyone is heading to Mexico anytime soon I'd love to post your trip report!

INAUGURAL POST

The QUESTION: What is Waste Land Park?

The ANSWER: A source of Amusement Trash

QUESTION 2: What does that even mean?

ANSWER 2: We're not entirely sure.

We can tell you to expect frequent amusement industry news, commentary and, well, trash. If your other news sources are Disney and Six Flags, we're Uncle Freddy's Fun World or Waste Land Park. Which means you come here to ride Zipper.


And there's nothing wrong with that. Zipper is sweet, or is meant to be, like this site. Check back soon!